5 Ways to Support an Autistic Child

Parenting a child with autism can be challenging, especially as they begin their education journey. 

Whether it’s navigating different communication styles, supporting with sensory issues, or juggling a need for routine with the many (many) curveballs of life, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. 

Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) doesn’t fit neatly into boxes. It gleefully defies them, meaning you have to work to understand what’s best for your child’s unique needs. 

Add to the mix a dizzying amount of conflicting and contradictory information on the topic, and you have a recipe for frustration, confusion, and even guilt that you’re letting your little one down. 

With that in mind, we spoke to our resident expert, Von Brookstein, who shared her wealth of knowledge and experience working with autistic children in early years settings. 

From learning your little one’s communication style to exploring the types of reasonable adjustments you can request, we’ll unpack some go-to tips for supporting an autistic child. 

Let’s dive in, shall we? 

Note: This article isn’t intended to be used as a diagnostic tool. If you think your little one may be autistic, speak to their GP. 

You should also speak with your child’s Health Visitor, who are increasingly becoming the first monitors of children’s development. 

1. Educate Yourself on Autism

Autism is hugely misunderstood.

Whether due to outdated, sometimes harmful portrayals in pop culture or a frustratingly persistent lack of knowledge in medical circles, autism is often viewed in an extremely reductive way. 

From antiquated ideas of savant-level skills to widely debunked myths about vaccines, conversations surrounding autism are rife with misinformation—too much to cram into a list. 

The problem? Much of this misinformation goes unchallenged and is shared with such confidence (and frequency) that it can begin to seem like fact. 

And so, as with any child-related topic, your first step should be to educate yourself using reputable sources, such as the National Autistic Society, Autism Alliance, or the NHS. 

It can be a lot to process, especially if you’re new to the topic, but by developing a layperson’s understanding of autism, you’ll be able to understand and support your little one. 

2. Learn Your Child’s Specific Needs

Amongst the most common (and most harmful) misconceptions surrounding autism is that all autistic children are the same, with a neatly defined set of traits, behaviours, and even interests. 

And while it’s true that there’s some overlap—particularly in the need for structure—autistic children are wonderfully, irrepressibly diverse. To suggest otherwise is reductive and inaccurate. 

Take, for example, eye contact. Some autistic children find holding someone’s gaze invasive and uncomfortable, while others don’t. Some autistic children dislike touch; others don’t mind it at all. 

Similarly, while most autistic children live with some form of sensory issue, they won’t all have the same issues, and even those who do won’t experience them at the same intensity. 

Some autistic children will be hyper-sensitive to noise, requiring noise-cancelling headphones to cope in loud environments, while others may be able to handle noise without too much distress. 

In many cases, delays in communication and language can be the first area in which parents recognise a delay in their little one’s development, often leading to appointments with speech and language therapists and other outside professionals—all of whom are important steps on the pathway to formal diagnosis.  

And these are important steps, both in understanding and assessment. 

We asked our in-house SEND expert Von Brookstein, who said:

“Working with outside professionals and gaining assessment is key to further referral to other professionals, such as the paediatrician.”

It all depends on the individual. Each autistic child is unique, with their own neurological makeup, so it’s important to pay close attention to your little one’s needs, preferences, and sensitivities. 

So, whether it’s a vehement dislike of a specific texture, hypersensitivity to fluorescent lights, or a preference for food of a certain temperature, pay close attention to your little one’s needs and adjust their world accordingly. 

Which brings us neatly on to…

3. Explore reasonable adjustments

For autistic children, the world isn’t as equitable as it could be. 

It isn’t necessarily by design, but autistic—and indeed all neurodivergent— children face barriers in everyday life that make everything a little more challenging. 

And that’s where reasonable adjustments come in. 

According to the SEND Code of Practice 2015, early years providers need to take a proactive approach to adjustments for disabled children. (I.e. considering adjustments in advance.) 

In the context of autism, this could mean providing quiet areas, giving warnings about transitions between activities, or allowing the use of fidget toys. Ultimately, it depends on your little one. 

As you can imagine, parent participation at nursery is key to deciding what type of adjustments will benefit your little one, so don’t be afraid to ask for something if you think it’ll help. 

Whether it’s allowing (and encouraging) the use of ear defenders or agreeing on flexible start/finish times to avoid busy periods, your little one’s adjustments should be unique to them. 

The examples we’ve given here are exactly that: examples. There’s no one-size-fits-all adjustment, and nursery staff will always strive to accommodate your little one’s needs, whatever they may be. 

It’s worth keeping in mind that adjustments aren’t fixed. They can be tweaked as your little one’s needs evolve, so be sure to keep an open dialogue with nursery/school staff. The more they know; the more they can help.

Speaking of…

4. Work with your child’s nursery team

The path to an autism diagnosis is far from straightforward. According to Von Brookstein:

“Autism in young children is notoriously difficult to identify, as development doesn’t always abide by the neatly defined milestones that parents and educators love.”

As a consequence, professionals may be reluctant to diagnose autism until they’ve developed the clearest possible picture of your little one’s traits and behaviours.

For example, they’ll study whether your child displays behaviours such as flapping, flicking, squealing, or covering their ears due to sensory overload. 

They’ll also examine notes on your little one’s social behaviours, asking whether they mix well in small groups, or prefer their own space, away from other children. 

It’s also likely that they’ll want to know more about your little one’s sensory needs, seeking to understand whether they like or dislike certain textures, tastes, sounds, and smells. 

In fact, in many cases, sensory issues pertaining to food (such as preferences for or aversions to specific colours or textures) are often the most common traits parents and nursery staff notice. 

It may sound like an involved, drawn-out process, but it isn’t a clinical thing. It’s more a case of pulling together everyday observations and using them to build and understanding,

And to do that it’s important to continue working with your child’s nursery team, keeping an open dialogue on your little one’s traits and behaviours, as it’ll all be considered by doctors. 

But truthfully, it isn’t just about obtaining a diagnosis. It’s about ensuring that your little one’s experience of nursery is attuned to their needs, making sure they’re happy and thriving. 

5. Seek out support groups

Parenting is tough. 

From juggling a dizzying array of daily tasks to a pervasive sense that you’re making a gigantic mess of the whole thing—you’re not, FYI—it’s easy to find yourself experiencing parental burnout. 

And without sugarcoating it, parenting a child with additional needs adds a whole other layer, as you navigate situations, environments and emotions that you can’t always prepare for. 

Whether it’s fighting tooth and nail for a diagnosis or keeping up to date with the ever-shifting landscape of policy changes, it can be an exhausting, sometimes even isolating experience. 

And that’s without mentioning the everyday challenges of meeting your little one’s needs, which you may still be developing an understanding of as they begin to present themselves. 

But you’re not alone.

There are several support groups and charities specifically for parents of autistic children, where you’ll find community and resources, including Autistic Parents UK,  Autism Central, and the National Autistic Society.

Seeking support is an act of self-care. It should be celebrated. 

And remember, whatever form that support takes—whether coffee mornings or knowledge shares—you’re showing up for your little one as much as for yourself. 

The fresher you feel, the more present you’ll be, meaning you’ll be able to truly soak up the joy of parenting a child with autism, which, for all its challenges, is a unique and uplifting experience. 

Whether your little one has an official diagnosis or is still going through the process, there are many ways to help a child with autism get the most from each day. 

From working closely with their nursery to requesting reasonable adjustments, everything you do will have a huge impact on your child’s well-being. 

Need more parenting advice? Check out our blog, where you’ll find articles on everything from the importance of parent partnership at nursery to common childhood illnesses.